Please Help! Funny Visual Joke…

Can you please help this lady to find her lost puppy?

🙂

 

😉

 

😀

 

🙂

 

Really Funny Classifields Ad…Must Read!!

Funniest Newspaper Classifields…Don’t Miss it!

* Illiterate? Write today for free help!

* Auto Repair Service-Free pickup and delivery…Try us once and you’ll never go anywhere again!

* Three year old teacher needed for pre-school. Experience preffered!

* Used cars- Why go elsewhere to be cheated? Come here first!

* Dog for sale- Eats anything and is fond of children!

* Man wanted to work in a dynamite factory…Must be willing to travel.

* Wanted. man to take care of cow that does not drink or smoke…

* We do not tear your clothing with machineries…We do it carefully by hand!

The Actual Use Of Markers!!

Funny Gifs…

Funny Monalisa

Funny!

Top 5 Women Drivers Of The Year!

Best Driver?!

Absolutely Funny…What Is Marriage?

What’s Marriage?

Marriage is not a word…it’s a sentence! (life sentence).

Marriage is a 3 ring circus…

Engagement ring, Wedding ring, suffeRING.

Man is incomplete before marriage… After marriage he is FINISHED!

Man inserted an ad in a paper…”WIFE WANTED”… The next day he recieved hundreds of letters… All saying,”YOU CAN HAVE MINE”

Marriage is Luv…Luv is blind… And so, marriage is an institution for blinds 😉

Management Joke- Must Read!

Lesson Number One

A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him, “Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”

So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared, jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.

Lesson Number Two

A turkey was chatting with a bull.

“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey,  “but I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.  “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch. Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.

Lesson Number Three

When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because I control the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go. ” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money. ” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike, blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed, the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered. Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!

Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!

Lesson Number Four

A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was. The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:

1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.

2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.

3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!

Hilarious Computer Joke…

You cry as much as you can, but nobody to hear you.

There are 2 people always next to you:

The PM (Project Manager), giving a pleasant smile every time he sees you and The TL (Team Leader), busy in his world and scheduling work for you.

In between its YOU (Software Engineers), who struggles with all the Buggs/ PR’s/CR’s/Issues.

The perfect picture is given below..

*

 

*

 

*

 

*

 

Funny Joke- ‘Bush And School Children’

George Bush

Wondering how his popularity was among the children, the American president,
George Bush visits a school. After explaining a little bit of the governmental platform,
he asks the kids if they had any questions.

Bob raises his hand and says:
I have 3 questions for you…
1) How did you manage to win the elections, even though you had less votes?
2) Why do you want to attack Iraq without clear reasons?
3) Don’t you think that the Hiroshima bomb was the biggest act of terrorism in the world’s history?

At this very moment the bell rings and all the kids run out of the classroom.

After the break, Bush tells the kids to feel free to ask him more questions and
this time Joey raises his hand and says: I have 5 questions for you…

1) How did you manage to win in the elections, even though you had less votes?
2) Why do you want to attack Iraq without clear reasons?
3) Don’t you think that the Hiroshima bomb was the biggest act of terrorism in the world’s history?
4) Why did the bell sound 20 minutes earlier today?
5) Where’s Bob?

Who Is Fastest? Funny Joke

Who is the fastest 🙂

Three boys are in the schoolyard bragging of how great their fathers are.

The first one says, “Well, my father runs the fastest. He can fire an arrow, and start to run, I tell you, he gets there before the arrow.”

The second boy says, “Ha! You think that’s fast! My father is a hunter.  He can shoot his gun and be there before the bullet!”

The third one listens to the other two and shakes his head. He then says, “You two know nothing about speed. My father works in the Govt department. He stops working at 5:00 and he is home by 3:45!!”