Category Archives: Forwards

Absolutely Funny…What Is Marriage?

What’s Marriage?

Marriage is not a word…it’s a sentence! (life sentence).

Marriage is a 3 ring circus…

Engagement ring, Wedding ring, suffeRING.

Man is incomplete before marriage… After marriage he is FINISHED!

Man inserted an ad in a paper…”WIFE WANTED”… The next day he recieved hundreds of letters… All saying,”YOU CAN HAVE MINE”

Marriage is Luv…Luv is blind… And so, marriage is an institution for blinds 😉

Management Joke- Must Read!

                                             
Lesson Number One
A crow was sitting on a tree, doing nothing all day. A small rabbit saw the crow, and asked him,

“Can I also sit like you and do nothing all day long?”

The crow answered: “Sure, why not.”
So, the rabbit sat on the ground below the crow, and rested. All of a sudden, a fox appeared,

jumped on the rabbit and ate it.

Management Lesson: To be sitting and doing nothing, you must be sitting very, very high up.
Lesson Number Two
A turkey was chatting with a bull.
“I would love to be able to get to the top of that tree,” sighed the turkey,

 “but I haven’t got the energy. “Well, why don’t you nibble on some of my droppings?” replied the bull.

 “They’re packed with nutrients.”

The turkey pecked at a lump of dung and found that it actually gave him enough strength to reach the

first branch of the tree. The next day, after eating some more dung, he reached the second branch.

Finally after a fortnight, there he was proudly perched at the top of the tree. Soon he was promptly spotted

by a farmer, who shot the turkey out of the tree.

Management Lesson: Bullshit might get you to the top, but it won’t keep you there.
Lesson Number Three
When the body was first made, all the parts wanted to be Boss. The brain said, “I should be Boss because

I control the whole body’s responses and functions.”

The feet said, “We should be Boss as we carry the brain about and get him to where he wants to go.

” The hands said, “We should be the Boss because we do all the work and earn all the money.

” And so it went on and on with the heart, the lungs and the eyes until finally the asshole spoke up.

All the parts laughed at the idea of the asshole being the Boss. So the asshole went on strike,

blocked itself up and refused to work. Within a short time the eyes became crossed,

the hands clenched, the feet twitched, the heart and lungs began to panic and the brain fevered.

Eventually they all decided that the asshole should be the Boss, so the motion was passed.

All the other parts did all the work while the Boss just sat and passed out the shit!
Management Lesson: You don’t need brains to be Boss, any asshole will do!
Lesson Number Four
A little bird was flying south for the winter. It was so cold, the bird froze and fell to

the ground in a large field. While it was lying there, a cow came by and dropped

some dung on it. As the frozen bird lay there in the pile of cow dung, it began to realize how warm it was.

The dung was actually thawing him out!

He lay there all warm and happy, and soon began to sing for joy. A passing cat

heard he bird singing and came to investigate. Following the sound, the cat discovered

the bird under the pile of cow dung, and promptly dug him out and ate him!

Management Lessons:
1. Not everyone who drops shit on you is your enemy.
2. Not everyone who gets you out of shit is your friend.
3. When you’re in deep shit, keep your mouth shut!                                             

Absence of Team Leader…Funny Visual Joke!

Wanna know wat would we do in the absence of our team leader…?

 

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Funny Pics…

Presence of mind!

I was in the airport VIP lounge en route to Seattle a couple of weeks ago.

While in there, I noticed Bill Gates sitting comfortably in the corner, enjoying a drink. I was meeting a very important client who was a! lso flying to Seattle, but she was running a little bit late.

Well, being a straightforward kind of guy, I approached the Microsoft chairman, introduced myself, and said, “Mr. Gates, I wonder if you would do me a favor.”

“Yes?”

“I’m sitting right over there,” pointing to my seat at the bar, and I’ m waiting for a very important client. Would you be so kind when she arrives as to come walk by and just say “Hi Tom?”

“Sure.”

I shook his hand and thanked him and went back to my seat. About ten minutes later, my client showed up. We ordered a drink and started to talk business. A couple of minutes later, I felt a tap on my shoulder. It was Bill Gates.

“Hi, Tom,” he said.

I replied, “Shut up, Bill, I’m in a meeting.”

More Sardar jokes!

Q: What do you call a Sikh who drinks only beer?
A: JUSBEER SINGH.

Q: What do you call a Sikh guy who has only one drink ?
A: JUST-ONE SINGH.

Q: What do you call a Sikh scuba diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGHQ:

What do you call a better adapted Sikh diver?
A: JULL-UNDER SINGH GILL.

Q: What do you call a bald Sikh guy ?
A: BALD-EV SINGH.

Q: What do you call a Sikh boyfriend?
A: HER PAL SINGH.

Q: Who is he who has many publications to his credit?
A: JOURNAL SINGH.

Q: What do you call a Sikh guy running towards the enemy camp witha
white flag in his hand?
A: SURRENDER SINGH.

Q: What do you call a Sikh man with only one hair?
A: IK-BAL SINGH

Q: What do you call a Sikh man who is a fast runner?
A: TEJ SINGH

Q: What do you call a Sikh standing on one leg?
A: BALAN SINGH

Q: What do you call a Sikh enjoying a walk in the park?
A: RELAX SINGH

Sardar jokes

A sardar enters the shop and shouts.. “Where’s my free gift with this oil?” Shop Keeper: “Iske sath koi gift nahi hai bhaisaab..” Sardar: “ore, ispe likha hai cholestral free..”

A Sardar saw a beautiful girl. He went and kissed her. Girl : Stupid! What are you doing? Sardar : B.Com second year.

One Person asked Sardar : Tell me the word, which is having more than 100 letters. Sardar replied as… P-O-S-T-B-O-X

Sardar found the answer to the most difficult question ever – What will come first, Chicken or egg? O Yaar, what ever u order first will come first.

Santa! Your daughter has died! Depressed, Sardar jumps from 100th floor At 50th floor he remembers I don’t have a daughter! At 25flr:I’m unmarried! At 10flr:I’m Banta not santa

A Teacher lecturing on population – In India after Every 10 sec a women gives birth to a kid. A Sardar stands up- we must find & stop her!.

INTERVIEW : Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire? Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.

Sardar: I haven’t slept all nite in the train. Frnd: Y? Sardar: Got upper berth. Frnd: Y did’nt u Xchnged? Sardar: oye, there was nobody 2 Xchng in the lower berth..

A train suddenly slips into a crop field n stumbled n stops.The driver is sardarji. Passengers: R u blind,how did the train slipped into the field. sardar:A man was standing on the tracks. Passengers:for i man u endangered somany lives, u must have smashed him. sardar:I was trying to do that but he ran into the fields. 🙂

ON A ROMANTIC DATE SARDARS GIRL FRIEND ASKS HIM,DARLING ON OUR ENGAGEMENT WILL U GIVE ME A RING? HE SAID YA SURE WHATS YOUR PHONE NUMBER

Sardar told his servant: Go and water the plants. Servant: It”s already raining. Sardar: So what take an umbrella and go.